Gone he is
Chet Anekwe
Mike Tyson once said he sometimes misses the guy he used to be. That at times being this gentler, quieter, less angry person make him feel like, to quote him, “a bitch”
However he recognizes that he is a better person today. And the “other” guy cannot be let out. He destroys everything around him and brings no peace.
I understand this perfectly.
Today I am a better, calmer and wiser person than I have ever been. I am actually embarrassed when old friends remind me of my old self. And get downright indignant when those, who have not seen me in decades, assume that I have not changed…. I have.
But every now and then, like Mike, I miss the “old” me. He shielded and protected me. Defended my emotional ground and provided a safe place where I could hide my fears and insecurities.
He is gone and I are better for it. And even as Butter says I am no longer under attack, and I am truly and finally safe, I do, at times, feel lesser than whole that he is gone.
Nonetheless, gone he is and gone he shall remain…
